My goodness, it's been almost a year since I've written anything in this space. I knew it was long, but I didn't know it was that long. I have, dozens of times, opened up this window on my computer, and then shut it again, just because I don't really have anything to say. Or sometimes, like I have too much, but it's not really significant, or I've already said it on Facebook, or I only want to say it to a few people, and everything I say here can be read by anyone who knows me (or doesn't).
I guess I go through quieter seasons of life. Not that nothing's happening. My little ones are growing in leaps and bounds, taking in life with all of their normal eagerness, unfolding their little personalities and making me laugh, cry, eat chocolate, snuggle them--all the things they normally do. They're a fearsome pair, these days, and their love for one another pretty much overwhelms me with its goodness and its beauty.
But sometimes, I just don't have a lot to say. And writing, for me, has always been something that I've loved when it flows naturally, and absolutely hated when it's forced or required. Even though I was good at it, I really, really disliked writing papers in college. And yet, I write for my own enjoyment all the time. I dislike restraints and deadlines. I dislike *having* to write. I think it would be hard for me to blog for business, for this reason. I don't like churning out a product. I like to wait until I have something I think is worth saying.
And, I'm an introvert. Sometimes I don't like having it all out there. I'm pretty private, by nature, and I tend to share only those things that have been processed and mulled over and turned into something substantial by time and thought. Sometimes, I just get tired. The writing equivalent of going into a quiet corner in a party, just to breathe, and be alone with my little plate of food, and watch from the outside for awhile.
But I've felt, lately, a bit more rested. A bit more ready to mingle again, so to speak. A bit more creative energy. And like, perhaps, I have things to say again. Some different angles to look at the world from. My kids are older. The dynamics in my house are different than they were, a year ago.
So, stay tuned. And talk to me, if you will. I'll still write about the lighter and heavier aspects of mothering my little ones. But for those of you who have been helped or encouraged by this space--what has meant the most to you? What do you want to see more of? Where are your hearts, and what do they need right now, in terms of mothering encouragement? It's been awhile since I was figuring out my first baby. In some ways, I feel worlds older, even though it's only been four years. I'm figuring different things out now, and yet my heart is still where it always has been--in grace for mothers and this mothering job, in building a healthy family, in moving beyond the rat race of you should/you shouldn't/best way/right way/only way and into growing and living and learning.
So talk to me. And look for me more, here in my corner of the internet world.